Nastily Exhausting (but Magical) Truths About Real Bodywork

Because advanced massage isn't all hot stones and spa music—sometimes it's grit, guts, and getting elbow-deep in the real work.

Let’s get one thing straight: Your body is not a mystery to be decoded only by doctors in white coats spewing medical jargon you are unfamiliar with.

You have a right to understand what’s happening in your own body. You deserve real answers about what’s happening in your muscles, joints, and the nervous system—without condescension, gatekeeping, or brushed-off bullshit. A right to stop Googling symptoms at 2 a.m. because no one ever explained how your psoas or your subscapularis might be contributing to your pain.

But that’s not always what people get—not from the medical establishment. Especially not from YouTube.

And yet, massage therapy doesn’t always get a seat at the medical table. It’s often seen as “alternative,” “adjacent,” or worst of all—a luxury. Instead it often gets shuffled into the “wellness” category—somewhere between lavender candles and sketchy Instagram reels—but I’m here to tell you:

It deserves more credit. And so do you.

This series is for the curious. The chronic pain warriors. The clients and bodyworkers who want to understand why they hurt—and how the right touch c

an actually help.

🧠 What They Don’t Teach You in the Textbooks

If you're looking for cold, clinical footnotes, you won’t find them here.

What you will find?

Expert knowledge.

Hard-won experience.

A no-bullshit guide to the harder, deeper, more misunderstood layers of bodywork.

I am calling this Massage on a NEWT Level for a reason...because these posts go deep. Like Nastily Exhausting Wizarding Tests—but for the body. (My fellow nerds, you know.)

This isn’t massage therapy explained like a medical brochure. It’s massage therapy translated straight from the table by someone who does this work every damn day.

I’m not giving you oversimplified diagrams. Instead you will find client stories, anatomy nerd-outs, and full-body truths based on 13+ years of hands-on experience. Truths like...

Remember that your healing deserves more than a fluffy spa brochure. It deserves depth. It deserves nuance.

And you deserve to understand your own damn body.

🔬 The Science: It’s Not Just Muscles

Massage therapy is built on anatomy, physiology, and neurology. We’re working with muscle fibers, connective tissue, lymph flow, and—most of all—the nervous system. But no two nervous systems are the same, and that changes everything.

Your body holds stories in layers: injury, repetition, emotional stress. Good massage can affect all of it. But here’s the challenge: massage is notoriously difficult to research. Why?

Because so much of it is subjective. Touch isn’t one-size-fits-all. Pain perception varies. And no two therapists are alike.

The absence of peer-reviewed research isn’t proof massage doesn’t work. It just means massage doesn’t fit neatly in a lab. And honestly? Neither do you.

🌀 The Magic: You Can’t Quantify Connection

There’s a moment in good bodywork that science can’t measure.

It’s the sigh that escapes without permission.

It’s the sensation of being held without judgment.

It’s your nervous system saying, “Oh, we’re safe here.”

That moment? That’s the magic I chase in every session

And it’s why I listen more to your body than your chart.

Massage reconnects you with your own body. It invites presence. It tells your subconscious: you don’t have to armor up right now.

And whether you call it spiritual, intuitive, or somatic…

There’s something sacred in learning to listen to the wisdom under your skin.

🎨 The Art: Not Every Massage Is the Same

Massage isn’t just “rubbing muscles.” It’s practiced touch. It’s adaptation. It’s knowing when to press and when to pause. It’s reading the breath. Feeling the tension under the surface. Adjusting pressure for a client who can’t name what’s wrong—but knows something is.

That’s not in the textbooks.

It’s learned by listening.

It’s honed over years.

And it’s different every single session—because you are different every time you show up on my table.

Massage is an art. Your body is the canvas, and no two canvases are ever the same.

📅 What to Expect from This Series

Each quarter, I’ll drop a new post tackling massage topics that go beyond the basics—because your healing journey isn’t basic. These are high-level, truth-telling, radically honest write-ups that give you permission to know more, feel more, and expect more from your bodywork.

So far in this Massage on a NEWT Level series, I've mapped out the following topics:

1. "I Tore my Rotator Cuff"

   (Unpacking the long-haul reality of healing, what your doctor didn’t explain, and how bodywork supports real rehab. Read the full article here.)

2. Hard-to-Access Muscles

   (Think: psoas, subscapularis, adductor origins—the ones other therapists don’t touch.)

3. Relaxation vs. Treatment Massage

   (Why it matters, and why your body might need one over the other—or both.)

4. The Rehabilitation Journey

   (The messy, hopeful, non-linear path of long-haul recovery.)

5. Receiving Massage After Assault Trauma

   (How to reclaim touch, honor your needs, and work with a trauma-informed LMT.)

There will be more topics on the way—including polyvagal-informed bodywork, massage for neurodivergent clients, and the unspoken emotional releases that can happen on the table.

Because healing isn’t shallow. And neither is this work.

Legal disclaimer (because it's 2025 y'all): To be clear, I am not a doctor, I cannot prescribe treatment, each person really ought to seek multiple opinions for their medical care, and also do research on their own from reliable sources. Wikipedia does not count.

This article is from my 13+ years as a massage therapist in the medical community; just one experienced human talking to other humans so it is not a replacement for care. Washington Massage License #MA60252267

P.S. - Enjoy these ridiculous AI generated images created for this blog post. Bwahahahahahaha.