As corny as it may sound, a gratitude mindset really shifts us into abundance. It isn’t rose colored glasses BS, and you don’t have to feel “happy” to sit in gratitude.
Now I didn't always positive feelings toward this concept. This is mainly due to the fact that I lived the majority of my life within a high demand religious organization. And GODS the song that shares this blog post title really gets to me.
No, not that one.
The one from my religious years. I don't even want to put the lyrics here and give them space but they are important for context...
"When upon life's billows you are tempest tossed,
When you are discouraged thinking all is lost,
Count your many blessings, name them one by one And it will surprise you what the Lord has done
Are you ever burdened with a load of care?
Does the cross seem heavy you are called to bear?
Count your many blessings, every doubt will fly
And you will be singing as the days go by.
When you look at others with their lands and gold,
Think that Christ has promised you His wealth untold;
Count your many blessings, money cannot buy
Your reward in heaven, nor your home on high
So amid the conflict whether great or small,
Do not be discouraged God is over all.
Count your many blessings, angels will attend,
Help and comfort give you to your journey's end.
Count your blessings, name them one by one Count your blessings, see what God has done. Count your blessings, name them one by one.
Count your many blessings, see what God has done."
I resented how the religion I grew up in basically taught that we have to be happy about our suffering, otherwise we weren’t being grateful. So people who are fleeing for their lives from war zones or struggling to pay their bills because they lost their job, these people are supposed to say thank you for the trials they are facing AND be happy about it???
Where the religion, and other teachings, miss the boat is in the intention: don’t try to sit in gratitude from a place of obligation, desperation or forced & fake happiness, but rather from a place of openness, reflection, connection, acceptance and specificity about your abundance.
Here’s an example from my life as a single mom without child support for a 7 month period: Even with the seemingly insurmountable task of providing for me and my two boys with significantly less money per month, I still found myself sitting in gratitude from day to day. While I chose to find pieces to be grateful for on a daily basis, I still cried and raged at times; I had low moments of depression and exhaustion but I kept coming back to my practice of gratitude. Key word being practice, continual effort to find something that connected me to myself, to others and to the collective experience.
Centering my experience around what I DID have allowed me to see resources I wouldn’t have considered on my own, I was able to draw on courage of others when mine seemed depleted, and I had strength to ask for help when I couldn’t do it alone. I remained open and allowed the pieces to flow to me…even though a lot of it happened NOT in the time frame I had in mind. Gods, patience is a skill and integral to gratitude.
Here I am 7 months later and things are really starting to rock n roll!
I was asked to apply for a promotion at work 4 months before I was eligible because my manager and area manager saw my dedication to my clients and to building of our studio team; they knew I was ready and more than qualified for it.
With the help of the state, child support has resumed with the back amount slowly being paid off.
I found a new connection that is SOLID in the legal proceedings of my state and is helping me get to court without a lawyer, to process some other items that need to be addressed. She is also an incredible human! (Yay new friends!!)
I put myself through school, graduated and started building my coaching practice. I cultivated strong relationships with three fellow coaches I went through school with, and we are building an amazing movement together.
My boys have grown their emotional intelligence in HUGE ways, as they have seen me be vulnerable and a fucking badass on the daily.
There are so many other pieces that I could share but this is already reallllllly long so I will pause there!
So what now? Well, if you are struggling...
First, know that you are not alone. Reach out to a solid deep connection and share your burdens. Ask for help.
Second, find the pieces you can be genuinely grateful for. NOT happy about, but grateful for. Build and center your life practice in gratitude and openness.
Third, take it one day at a time. Be patient. Keep going. Remember that your best is going to vary day to day, and that is 100% acceptable!
Share in the comments how your gratitude practice is going, if you are struggling with it, or anything else you want to say to connect with other humans.
Be strong. Do it scared!
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